Gut Level Sustainability

Recently I read a great blog piece on sustainable activism. Which lead me naturally into some ideas about how to sustain ourselves in what pundits are calling the age of the polycrisis. Everything feels overwhelming. So how do we go on in the face of it all? How do we keep showing up for the people who depend on us when all we really want to do is roll up in a ball like a mealy bug (but with a super-sized bag of potato chips)?

Nothing I’m sharing here is new or original, just suggestions I’ve collected from my own reading and experiments, my own exploratory journeying through the worlds of philosophy, wellness, politics and culture. So take what is useful and discard the rest. Given that the internet has exploded with self-help offerings over the last two decades and we all seem to be feeling worse than ever, caution and skepticism on your part would be wise. But nonetheless, there may be some useful reminders here.

1. Take more breaks from your screens. Put down the devices. Walk away slowly. Try going outside. Bundle up.  Head for a forest. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, smells and the feel of the ground beneath you. Make a little inventory of things that you notice in your head. Most of us are mentally exhausted but physically under-moved, under-exercised. Any kind of gentle, repetitive movement is fine. If you can’t walk you can swim laps, or pedal a stationary bike, or put on some music and dance by yourself…just get away from the screens. (I like doing yoga myself, lol. If you’re into that come and see me).

2. Same as above, but do it with a friend. Use the screen-free time to walk, talk, catch up with one another.

3. In yoga there’s a concept called “pratyahara” which just means being more conscious about what you’re ingesting: physically, mentally, psychologically, emotionally. It’s very important to be aware of what’s happening in the world, but I’d suggest putting firm boundaries around how much news you consume and when you consume it. Watching and re-watching traumatic stories, or doom-scrolling throughout the day is unhelpful. Give yourself time to digest and process and then move along. Also, be aware of the effect of all the advertising you’re encountering. For example, if you’re having trouble managing your debt, just stay away from the malls and the e-flyers. Don’t buy the issue of “best new cars of 2024” if you don’t have any money. You’re just torturing yourself. If you can decrease all the pressure to “buy, buy, buy”  or “escape, escape, escape” you can more make rational decisions from the head versus the heart.

If you love watching TV, as I do, be a little more fussy about what you’re choosing. Try to pick shows that make you feel good as opposed to shows that celebrate death, destruction and criminal behavior. It’s actually quite hard. I had to give up “Forensic Files” because although I found it fascinating I realized I don’t need any more ideas about how to kill people.

On the opposite end, look for content that is inspirational, funny and hopeful. Something like Ted Lasso springs to mind. Make a list of the people in your life who light you up and schedule some time to spend with them.

4. There are times when diversion is useful. When you’re really stuck on some negative thought loops, try doing something different. Watch a funny movie. Build a birdhouse. Try coloring, drawing or painting. Bake a casserole. Phone a friend. Remember board games? Maybe try that.

5. Plan time for the “invisible” jobs like cooking, cleaning and laundry. Value the time that our culture doesn’t see as productive. We’re always obsessing about long term goals like that exotic vacation or retirement…but we don’t give any presence or gratitude to the everyday tasks like doing dishes (hey, we have hot water on demand now, whereas our grandparents had to haul wood, pump the water and heat it on the stove).  Recognize the value in the tasks you’ll never receive accolades for, like listening to your Mom complain, or getting the bathtub cleaned. They do matter.

6. Get more sleep. There are millions of posts out there about how to do this. But often it’s the simple things that make all the difference (like getting off the screens, taking a walk, not using coffee like a junkie)…and they have to happen earlier in the day, not just at bedtime.

7. Examine your expectations. Old narratives and ideas about “how my life is supposed to be” may need to be let go of. Or at least, seen through as ideas rather than facts. A lot of our modern lives we were trained, and told, that we’re supposed to feel happy and secure at all times. When we don’t we think we’re doing something wrong, like there’s something wrong with us or our situation that more work, more money, or more romantic love could solve. We were taught that at sixty-five we’d retire to a life of leisure and ease. But this is no longer the reality for many of us. It’s hard to find the strength to deal with what’s actually going on, when we’re angry and resentful that our life isn’t turning out “as advertised.” Uncertainty and constant change are just facts of life, but what makes all the difference is the attitude we take when we’re dealing with them.

8. Share the load. Ask for help. If we sit around waiting for people to offer, we get resentful and the people we’re waiting on are oblivious. Often people are willing to chip in, they just need to know what is needed. We can ask, and we can also accept that “no” is a perfectly good answer. Once we know the boundaries, we can accept where things are, or we can move on and come up with Plan B. But dwelling in exhaustion, overwhelm and resentment is often something we ourselves are responsible for.

9. Stop trying to be good. We all have the capacity to be good, and the capacity to behave badly. In the right circumstances we’re all capable of just about anything. As the saying goes, it depends on the wolf that you feed. Stop running and stop repressing. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to have a shadow. What matters is what you do with those emotions, and whether your actions are motivated by love or by fear. This is where making time for friendships and conversation can make all the difference. Approaching your feelings with more compassion is a first step towards having more patience and tolerance for others. Forgive yourself for your own perceived flaws, and just aim to do better going forward. Don’t be afraid to apologize. It’s a very useful skill.

10. Work on building your “equanimity” muscle. To have equanimity means to balance out your love and compassion for the people and things that you care about, with the hard truth that there is no certainty and it’s impossible to know what the future will bring. We can only master our intentions—we can choose to do things because we know that they need to be done—but the outcome may not be what we want, or maybe even the opposite of what we want. Living in the midst of uncertainty is really hard, but black and white thinking, and taking a hard, inflexible line has never solved any disputes.

Taking the long view can also help. It may be that the actions and decisions we’re making today won’t bear fruit until we’re long gone. If we can zoom out in space and time, considering things from the perspective of one hundred years ago, or one hundred years in the future, our day to day struggles may take on a different weight and can be held a little more easily.

And finally, I came across this beautiful “activist mantra” on the Gen Dread blog (which I highly recommend). Whatever cause calls out to you, and regardless of how you’re acting to address it, I think this is helpful to keep on your bulletin board or fridge.

This is my mantra: (by Mama Selkie)

I am one person

I did not cause this mess alone

I cannot fix this mess alone

I have to live in a society that doesn’t support good choices, so I must make compromises

If my mental health fails, I will not be able to contribute or fight

I am not a bad person if I have limitations

I can’t always do more so that others can do nothing

I am not perfect

I am not pure

I am not tireless

I am only human and doing what I can

…and then I get back to work.