Accepting Limitations: Your body is a negotiation
John Mayer had a popular song a few years back called “Your Body is a Wonderland.” Lately I’ve been feeling that way about my own body, only in my case it feels like Alice’s Wonderland, a place where unexpected, bizarre, and sometimes inexplicable things happen. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that living in a body is more of a negotiation, or accepting limitations, than a case of mind over matter. We all like to think that we have control, and it really is just a matter of eating the right diet, doing the right exercises and taking the right supplements. We think that if we behave, and we do as we’re advised, we can achieve some sort of immunity to bodily misfortune. But in my experience, that’s just not true.
One of my inspiring, vegan, yoga mentors–Esther Myers, died of breast cancer when she was 52. I’ve encountered many fit and healthy people who’ve become instantly disabled by a car accident, a freak stumble on the sidewalk, or a diagnosis of M.S. We can do a lot to prevent dysfunction and illness, but sometimes it’s beyond our control. We are all of a nature to get sick, to get old, and to die. We just like to pretend that this maxim doesn’t apply to us (me too!). We also have to get over our anger and our sense of unfairness when health problems happen to us. We have to remember that it’s not personal and usually it’s not our fault. And then we have to keep going.
As I struggle along with my frozen shoulder and my sore back and my pending dental work I’m learning to accept that some days the only part I can exercise painlessly is my sense of humour…and hope that in this Wonderland nobody makes off with my head. I try to remain cheerful, renew my determination to keep practising, and avoid beating myself up. It’s still possible to do yoga, I’ve just had to get more creative and loosen up my ideas about what that practice should look like. I hope that my recent struggles will make me a better, more empathic teacher, and a little more humble about what I know.
Yours in decrepitude, Elaine
